I think I’ve figured this birth order thing out. You know, the whole firstborn attitude of importance? (My husband and I are both firstborns, I can say things like this). I’m pretty sure it has to do with the amount of prep work parents put into preparing for the changes the firstborn will bring to their lives. Second, third, fourth children are raised based on successes and failures of the first child.
Firstborns, whether accidental or meticulously planned, change their parents lives. They take the most adventurous of parents and change vacation plans from “Woot, vacation! Lets go hang out on the side of a cliff.” to “Woot, vacation! Let’s figure out and buy all the stuff we need to hang out on the side of a cliff with our baby safely”. Most parents take a slightly more drastic role in their change in lifestyle.
We are no different. While we realize that our lives will change completely, we are already coming up with agreements allowing both of us to have running/fitness/personal time while raising our daughter. In short we are trying to not lose ourselves in the process of having a baby.
At the same time, we know nothing about babies. I’m reading tons of books, blogs and articles about labor, delivery, diapering, feeding, daycares, clothing and even rearing years into the future. We are buying stuff. We are paying good money to go to classes. I’m working our schedule around doctors appointments and possibility of early delivery (you can’t run that race honey, it’s 2 weeks before our due date). I don’t see us having to worry about all these things for a second child. We would just go with the flow.
No wonder the firstborn is treated like royalty.
Especially if because our firstborn is also the first grandchild on both sides. That’s a lot for a baby to live up to.
And based on what I see on the internet, I feel like we are some of the mellow parents. The ones that aren’t stressed about buying all the gizmos and gadgets out there. We bought a good car seat, a new crib, some clearance clothes, a stockpile of diapers bought with coupons. Most other items will come from yard sales and as gifts.
We will adapt, and it will be a fun journey.
As for how we will adapt, we already have a few ideas in place.
Our daughter’s first love better be the running stroller. She better crave runs. I hope she dances with joy when we put her in that contraption. She’ll be spending a lot of time in there. You see, I’m guaranteed entry into the 2013 New York City Marathon. Assuming our daughter stays cozy in my womb until a little beyond her due date, that will give me less than a year to train for the race once my body recovers.
As for my husband, he hasn’t picked a race yet, but you know that Little A and I will be on the sidelines of at least one 100 mile race this year. It’s a given that she’ll be enclosed in that cozy space training with dad too. I’m so glad we were handed down an amazing running stroller.
Yesterday we took a class in Labor and Delivery of our daughter. I’m just glad that part of our life with our daughter will be short. I came out of that class more nervous than I was going in. At the same time, I didn’t feel like I was presented any new information, perhaps all that reading and video watching was actually valuable?
We did find that the Maternity Tour was actually very interesting. We wanted to know where we had to go and when we could go there.
I only plan on having my husband in the room during labor and delivery. I figure that if I’m mean to him he’ll have to forgive me. He’s not the one pushing our kid out of his body.
This is the maternity ward room where everyone will be coming to see me after I give birth ignoring me and paying attention to little A. Highlight of the tour was seeing an adorable 7 pound day-old baby. I was glad we didn’t have to see an almost 9 pound behemoth like I was. I might have changed my mind about not wanting a c-section.
No matter how I felt about the class, I’m glad it’s done. It does mean we are one step closer to having this baby.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go research what kind of material a firstborn’s throne should be made out of.
I'm an engineer, an animal lover, a runner and an ex-rower. I like medical devices, big ships and mountains. This is my journey teaching myself to make healthy foods and explore the world of vegan and vegetarian cuisine.
I”m so glad you”re putting so much thought and planning into this. You”re right, this is huge and the more prepared you feel, the more confidence you”ll have.
If I may offer one tiny piece of unsoloicited advie though. . . . Plan for the possibility that all your plans may have to go flying out the window. Be prepared to give up control if you have to.
You”ll get a lot more joy from the experience if you are prepared to roll with the unplanned.
Mindee@ourfrontdoor recently posted..It Won”t Add A Single Hour To My Life
My biggest problem with planning, is that I”m notorious for coming up with doomsday contingency scenarios. Things rarely turn out how I thought they would, but they almost never turn out as horrible as I can imagine them to be.
I”m sure that we will have lots of surprises on the way, I just really really really hope she doesn”t hate the jogging stroller (or Cooper).
You”re right, this is huge and the more prepared you feel, the more confidence you”ll have.
Born27 recently posted..How to conference call
I remember all the research, planning, and expectation. I used to spend hours reading product reviews, what-to-buy lists, and parenting articles. So little of what I read actually applied to the reality of parenting.
Things that worked out better than anticipated: cloth diapering, our jogging stroller, following the suggestion to write everything down. Also, we didn””t buy much gear. You can always run out and get things you need, but if your home is cluttered and chaotic, it will make things more challenging.
Things that didn””t work out: denial that the gals would be in the NICU, the expensive diaper bag, and nursing.
Things I learned in the first couple weeks: let go and let your baby set the pace and timing of life, don””t be hard on yourself, accept any offers for help.
Much luck to you! How many times do you think I””ll tell you that between now and when Little A arrives?